Chapter 2:

' Nitro!' chuckled Staff as he bench pressed the forklift truck with one hand and held the phone in the other. ' How's it going scrawny?'

' Look Staff, I'm not in the mood for this. I need your help.'

' No change from usual then?' said Staff as he put down the forklift.

' Oh haha,' replied Nitro, the edge in his voice indicating he was getting annoyed.

' Relax already. What's the problem?'

' RG has switched. He's trying to bring down England.'

The barbell Staff was curling dropped to the floor. RG? Switched? Surely that wasn't possible? Staff's mind filled with questions. How? Why? When? Why was he asking questions like these when there was 50lb weight on his left foot? He shook off his confusion as quickly as it appeared.

' Where are you Nitro? You need to fill me in with everything that's happened up this point'

' I'll send you my coordinates...and...can you bring some clothes with you?'

' Sure thing I'll be...wait...what?'

________

'I'm not even gonna ask...'

Staffs voice was a mixture of amusement, bemusement and horror.

' Look, it involved Jack Daniels, a Death ray, fifty feet of rope and a very bad joke about a rabbi.' snapped Nitro as he did up the buttons on his jacket.

' Sounds like a wild night out. So tell me weedy, what exactly is he planning?'

Nitro straightened his tie and walked over to the blackboard.

' It's all written down here.'

Staff's eyes wandered over the blackboard assimilating all the information presented to him. The plan was simple really:

Increase Co2 emissions
Stop production of tea
Take over English media so they don't realize tea is no longer growing
Teach English to spell realize with a Z and not an S
Pick up milk from shops
????
Profit!

Staff fell silent for a moment. The absence of point number six had to mean something. What was supposed to be there...

' Oh, and he's heading to Fort Lauderdale.'

' What? Why?'

' No clue, but there's a brochure on the table with a resort circled. It's the onyl clue we have at the moment so we're going to have to act on it.'

'Shit... any where but Fort Lauderdale...'

' What's up Staff?' inquired Nitro.

' It's just...Seven is in fort Lauderdale now...with Proteas. If anyone down there knows anything it'll be them, but I'd rather not go see them if I can avoid it. Far too awkward if ya get what I mean.'

' Yeah, I can understand that. We don;t have a choice though.'

' True. We had better make a move. RG has a huge head start. By the way, Nitro?'

'Yeah?'

' You're flying low,' Staff said as he walked out of the basement.