Blame Reviewer General for giving me the ideas for this...

Chapter 1:

It was cold in the basement. Nitro wondered what turn of events had led to him being tied up naked in RG's basement with a large laser slowly moving towards his genitalia. He then remembered how he had got there and cursed himself for even mentioning the idea that he could stop RG's plan to bring down might of England.

If he could just move his arms...nope. No good. They were tied tight. Apparently RG hadn't been joking when he had said that he didn't expect Nitro to get out alive. It was probably why he had actually taken the time to explain, in full detail his plan. It was quite ingenious really. By increasing the amount of C02 in the atmosphere he would disrupt the globes weather patterns thereby affecting the areas which grew England's supplies of tea and prevent the tea from being grown. This, on its own, was devilishly clever, but RG, in typical evil genius fashion, was going one step further. He was going to ensure that the English media didn't stop discussing the change in weather patterns, thus keeping the population and government distracted long enough for them to not do anything about the lack of tea and render them powerless to stop RG's ultimate aim of...well...come to think of it he didn't actually say what his ultimate aim was, regardless, he still had to be stopped!

Nitro struggled with his bonds. He knew that if he got out of this then he was going to have to take some escape artist lessons. Glancing down at the laser he found himself looking at his legs. The bond RG had used to tie his legs together had been severed by the laser, and judging form the position of the laser they had been severed a good 5 minutes ago. Feeling slightly sheepish he angled himself round so that he could use the beam that was intended to be the device of his death as a means to break the bonds cuffing his hands together.

Rubbing his wrists from where the bonds had dug into his skin Nitro examined the room. As basements go it was a nice one. There was a carpet, a number of games consoles, a series of instruments used to mutilate and deform whomever was placed in them in a variety of interesting and extraordinarily painful ways, and a rather attractive potted plant standing in the corner of the room.The main focus of the room though was the blackboard on the far wall on which the words ' EVIL PLANS TIO DESTROY ENGLAND' was scrawled in haphazard writing as though the hand writing it had been drunk at the time. It wouldn't have a surprise if RG had been drunk when he wrote his plans. Anyone who knew him was aware that he was the most creative when he'd been out all night with his good buddy Jack Daniels.

After examining the Blackboard for a minute Nitro's eyes fell onto the desk locate dto the side of it. In the letter holder was a brochure. Reaching out to pick it up he noticed that his armani suit had been torn.

' Well, looks like the boss will be charging me for another uniform' he thought to himself as he thumbed through the brochure. It was a bog standard travel brochure offering trips, deals and packages to a wide variety of places. one package deal caught Nitro's eye, although it wasn't because of the 5 star hotel, or the sites nearby. No, it caught his eye for a very different reason. Someone had circled the name of the town the resort was in with thick red marker. ' Fort Lauderdale' ... Nitro pondered the significance of why RG would want to go to Fort Lauderdale. Sure, it was a nice place to go on holiday, he'd been there once, but what could be there to interest a villainous mastermind like RG?

As Nitro stood in contemplating the significance of RG's choice of holiday locale his mind began to wonder back to when they had been partners...before RG had grown disillusioned with the low pay, the being treated like crap by their superiors and indeed, the being forced to pay for ridiculously expensive uniforms. That was the life of a secret agent though. There was a high drop out rate among secret agents, this was not shocking, it was a tough job. What was shocking, and rather more worrying was the recent trend of agents not just tending their resignation, but also switching allegiances and joining the international agency of evil villains

RG had been one of the best. Top of the class when they had graduated, but for some reason he'd turned his back on it all. It had started when he and Nitro were on mission in Argentina meeting up with an informant from within the Argentinean secret Service. The weather had been stifling, and the warehouse where the meeting was taking place was a nice change. The cool air had been circulated by an ancient air conditioning system which rattled worse than a diamondback.

The informant was already there when Nitro and RG arrived. He was pacing around the warehouse half a cigarette stuck out of his mouth. His suit was old and scuffed. This wasn't at all surprising. It was common practice for the agents from more wealthy nations to pass off their used uniforms down to agents from more poorer countries. His name was Der-Lowe, Nitro had worked with him once before when the agents of E.V.I.L had tried to corner the nations soybean market to try to force everyone in the world to stop eating soy products, get fat and die of obesity. He'd changed since then though. He looked older, his eyes were tired, his face unshaven and his hair unkempt...

Nitro shook off the memories that had just come flooding back to him. Now was not the time to reminisce and work out what had happened to RG. All that mattered was that he ahd to be stopped.

Reaching into his pocket, Nitro withdrew his mobile phone and examined the screen intently.

' Bastard!' he exclaimed, 'The batteries have bloody well died on me!'

He smacked the side of the phone in some vain attempt to make it work. Not much to his surprise it had had no effect. Putting the phone back into his pocket he walked over to the door his eyes darting around for any trace of a phone he could use. it wasn't often that nitro called in back up, but that was because RG had always been there at his side for the most part so he hadn't needed it. On his own Nitro was next useless, he knew it, but luckily for him he knew exactly who to call. He didn't want to do it, he knew exactly what would happen as a result, but dire times called for dire measures. As much as he disliked the constant ribbing and the put downs about his lack of muscle, there was only one man he could call on now. Nitro was going to have to call Staff. First however, he needed to find some clothes.